Friday Night Comedy
Tonight after work, I went by the Home Depot (in our neighborhood aka
Homo Depot) to pick up a pot to replant a palm tree for the porch.
Boring. So I find the pot I wanted, some Aztec-y sun-god thing, and
it's heavy! So I'm lugging this thing around because it's the last one
and I don't want someone else scarfing it up while I'm looking for
those little overflow trays that go under the pots, which by the way,
are so last year. It seems the latest thing in catching excess seepage
from your foliage are these giant cork coasters. Yeah, that's what I
thought too. So I bought six. After one lap around the garden
department, struggling with 50 lbs of awkwardly shaped terra cotta, I
decided to put it down before I dropped it. As there was this Jamaican
women eyeing my prized pot, I didn't want to just leave it anywhere,
lest she snag it, so I did the only mature thing: I hid it behind some
bags of fertilizer when she wasn't looking.
The next stop for the evening was the drugstore to pick up some
prescriptions, which by the way, were not ready earlier today as
promised. What a surprise! So I'm patiently waiting with my best blank
expression on as the friendly but undereducated clerk is attempting to
ring up Old Grouchy Gus in front of me, who is getting grouchier by
the moment and smells. Finally, it's my turn and *Eureka* my
prescription is ready! So, being one of those people who can never
just go into the store and leave with what I came for, I decided to
browse around, because there was bound to be something I just had to
have or needed. With my mouthwash, can of cashews (on sale!), and
peanut butter cookies in hand I tried to remember if there was
anything I NEEDED. Nah...let's go. So I paid for my useless crap, rung
up by a way too perky lady up front, slipped out the front door and
hurried home...
Only to realize once I walked in the door was that I forgot to pick up
some detergent for the dishwasher as I noticed the ever growing pile
of dishes in the sink. Yeah, I know, god forbid somebody in this
household washes them by hand! Smart, yet lazy guy that I am decided
that just a tiny bit of laundry detergent and a little bleach would do
the trick instead of getting back into the car and going to the corner
foodmart for some Electrasol. Now any fool knows that regular
soap/detergent is too foamy for a dishwasher. How many times have we
seen Lucy do it? So I added just a teeny, tiny bit and turned it on.
About 5 minutes later, I checked on it and since there wasn't an
avalanche of foam cascading across the kitchen floor, I figured
everything was fine. A little later, I went to pull a spring-fresh
clean glass out of the dishwasher and was treated by the stench of
clammy, hot, and UNCLEAN dishes! I guess there's a reason why you have
to use more than a tablespoon of laundry detergent to clean anything.
I'm sure my physics/science major boyfriend will explain to me why but
