2006_03_19_archive

We're In The Money

"We're in the money, we're in the money. Strike up the band. We're in

the mon-ey, we're-in-the-mon-ey."

I started to sing when I read the brochure from Van's Pro Shop that

arrived in the mail. I called the nearest Van's Pro Shop, the one in

Scottsdale, on Scottsdale Road. I called immediately.

Mike: Van's Pro shop, Mike speaking. May I help you?

Me: I just received your brochure, and I'm looking at the ad for

Noodle golf balls. It says, "The more you buy the more you save off

each dozen. Buy one dozen, $1 off. Buy two dozen, $2.00 off. Buy three

dozen, $3.00 off." I wanna buy a hundred dozen.

Mike: Okay.

Me: How much will I save?

Mike: Well, you save a dollar off each dozen. You save a hundred

dollars, total.

Me: That's not what the ad says. It says the more I buy, the more I

save -- off each dozen. If I save an extra dollar on each dozen, I

should save $100 on the hundredth dozen, $99 on the 99th dozen, and so

forth.

Mike: I'll have to get the store manager to talk to you.

Me: Okay, I'll wait. (humming) We're in the mon-ey, we're in the

mon...

Mgr.: Hello, I'm the manager, may I help you?

Me: I was just telling Mike that I have your ad for Noodle golf balls

and the ad says the more I buy the more I save, so I told Mike I want

to buy a hundred dozen. But while he was getting you to come to the

phone, I reconsidered. The offer is too good to stop at a hundred

dozen. I think I'm going to sell my Mercedes and use the proceeds to

buy two thousand dozen. Then, after you and I settle up, I might have

saved enough to afford a Bentley.

Mgr.: I'm sorry, there is a four dozen limit.

Me: It doesn't say so in the ad. The ad just says the more I buy the

more I save. I might save you guys right into into Chapter 11.

Mgr.: You'll have to take it up with the main office. They wrote the

ad.

Me: Why don't you do it. I'm just having fun with you.