friday night comedy

Friday Night Comedy

Tonight after work, I went by the Home Depot (in our neighborhood aka

Homo Depot) to pick up a pot to replant a palm tree for the porch.

Boring. So I find the pot I wanted, some Aztec-y sun-god thing, and

it's heavy! So I'm lugging this thing around because it's the last one

and I don't want someone else scarfing it up while I'm looking for

those little overflow trays that go under the pots, which by the way,

are so last year. It seems the latest thing in catching excess seepage

from your foliage are these giant cork coasters. Yeah, that's what I

thought too. So I bought six. After one lap around the garden

department, struggling with 50 lbs of awkwardly shaped terra cotta, I

decided to put it down before I dropped it. As there was this Jamaican

women eyeing my prized pot, I didn't want to just leave it anywhere,

lest she snag it, so I did the only mature thing: I hid it behind some

bags of fertilizer when she wasn't looking.

The next stop for the evening was the drugstore to pick up some

prescriptions, which by the way, were not ready earlier today as

promised. What a surprise! So I'm patiently waiting with my best blank

expression on as the friendly but undereducated clerk is attempting to

ring up Old Grouchy Gus in front of me, who is getting grouchier by

the moment and smells. Finally, it's my turn and *Eureka* my

prescription is ready! So, being one of those people who can never

just go into the store and leave with what I came for, I decided to

browse around, because there was bound to be something I just had to

have or needed. With my mouthwash, can of cashews (on sale!), and

peanut butter cookies in hand I tried to remember if there was

anything I NEEDED. Nah...let's go. So I paid for my useless crap, rung

up by a way too perky lady up front, slipped out the front door and

hurried home...

Only to realize once I walked in the door was that I forgot to pick up

some detergent for the dishwasher as I noticed the ever growing pile

of dishes in the sink. Yeah, I know, god forbid somebody in this

household washes them by hand! Smart, yet lazy guy that I am decided

that just a tiny bit of laundry detergent and a little bleach would do

the trick instead of getting back into the car and going to the corner

foodmart for some Electrasol. Now any fool knows that regular

soap/detergent is too foamy for a dishwasher. How many times have we

seen Lucy do it? So I added just a teeny, tiny bit and turned it on.

About 5 minutes later, I checked on it and since there wasn't an

avalanche of foam cascading across the kitchen floor, I figured

everything was fine. A little later, I went to pull a spring-fresh

clean glass out of the dishwasher and was treated by the stench of

clammy, hot, and UNCLEAN dishes! I guess there's a reason why you have

to use more than a tablespoon of laundry detergent to clean anything.

I'm sure my physics/science major boyfriend will explain to me why but