Thursday, 14 February 2008

morning tea cctv stumblesadventures in



Morning Tea: Unintentional Comedy on CCTV...Adventures in China

PR...Chiang's Diaries...cheng'guan...and stolen fruit

It's been a busy week here in Beijing. The Olympic year is not yet two

weeks old and China is already doing its damnedest to serve up a whole

stir-fry of crazy.

First off, 2008 has thus far not been kind to CCTV. While the

state-run station has never really considered itself either yellow or

violent, this reliable source of unintentional comedy for those of us

living in Beijing has done its best to force that phrase into the

cultural lexicon. (Plastered T-Shirts needs to get on this right away,

how could they not?) EastSouthWestNorth has also provided a handy list

of the top ten 'very yellow, very violent' websites for your surfing

convenience.

Not to be outdone by the news division, CCTV sports, or, as it is now

known, The Olympic Channel, staggered out of the gate when the amorous

wanderings of sportscaster Zhang Bin drew the ire of his wife at the

official kick-off ceremony. Hell hath no fury like a women scorned

with access to cameras, microphones, and a soundstage. The money quote

in my book:

"Until China is able to start exporting its values, it won't be

able to become a great power. For us to appear so prim and proper,

yet Zhang Bin can't even be brought to face his own - he won't even

face his hurt wife. I think China, as a - to succeed as a great

power - don't any of you have a conscience at all?"

The most fascinating part of the video is clearly the producers,

security, and stagehands for the ceremony--all of whom were watching

their careers flash before their eyes as this women pulled a nutty on

camera. For those curious at what Chinese "PR crisis management" looks

like, or if you're jonesing for a fix of schadenfreude, by all means

check out this clip on YouTube.

Speaking of PR and crisis management, everyone must read The

Imagethief's take on the attempt by a couple of provincial officials

to muzzle a Beijing journalist. Great quote from Will:

"Out of this we are treated once again to elegant proof of a

timeless public relations truth: The best way to compound a crisis

is to be busted trying to cover it up. This applies even in China

and even to the government. The Xifeng county authorities have

managed to blow a local scandal into nationwide outrage at near

record-speed. They did it without even having to poison an entire

river in the process, as Jilin provincial officials had done when

they were caught trying to suppress news of the Songhua River

benzene disaster of 05. Another superb example was when the

superbly-named China Railway 12th Bureau Group Company got caught

trying to hush up the death of workers excavating for new Beijing

subway lines last April.

But so far as I know, no one has tried the simple

scandal-propelling expedient of enraging the entire Chinese

national press corps. This is truly innovative, and the Xifeng

county authorities deserve due recognition for their efforts."

Real Keystone cops stuff out of Liaoning.

Of course, local officials also have more persuasive and efficient

ways to keep things quiet, as citizen journalist Wei Wenhua tragically

discovered while attempting to film some hired legbreakers busting up

a demonstration by local residents. Members of the 'cheng'guan', a

truly shady institution if there ever was one, then turned on Wei,

beating him to death. Fortunately, even the Chinese government knows

this is too much and they've ordered an extensive investigation into

Wei's murder. The incident has also focused attention on the

cheng'guan, who are basically groups of paid thugs hired by the police

or 'local business interests' when they need extra muscle. Beijing

residents might remember them as the yahoos who last autumn turned a

Sanlitun'r drug raid into Friday night at a Klan rally. John Kennedy

at Global Voices Online has a great post this week looking into the

cheng'guan phenomenon. Definitely a must-read.

More news from the wacky world of Beijing PR, Chinese environmental

protection agencies got caught with their pants at ankle-height this

past week. Turns out that the measurements of 'blue sky days' in

Beijing for 2007 were assisted by a new process that measures

pollution levels at stations in the mountainous rural areas of

northern Beijing rather than downtown where there are, you know, cars

and stuff. Wall Street Journal has the report.

Out of Taiwan comes news that the DPP has decided to stand down the

guards at the tombs of former leaders Chiang Kai-shek and son.

Chiang's legacy is obviously a complicated one, but expect some new

insights and fascinating reading coming to a bookstore near you.

Historians now have access to the Generalissimo's voluminous diaries

covering the years 1915-1972, and no doubt there are new books and

dissertations being planned at this very moment. Historian Yang

Tianshi is quoted as saying: "Chiang's diaries are of such historical

value that they could rewrite modern Chinese history." More thoughts

from fellow historians here and here.

As for removing the honor guard from the mausoleums, the Taipei Times

went for the daily double, and couldn't resist giving a little poke in

the eye to both the KMT and the Beijing government:

"The military police guarding the statue of Sun Yat-sen at Sun

Yat-sen Memorial Hall will also have to be removed: The time of

people guarding statues of historical figures has passed.

The way the remains of dictators are treated is, after all, an

indicator of a country's democratic maturity."

Yeah, that's probably true. For example, you don't see too many

modern, developed nations who believe in pickling the corpses of

former leaders and then putting them on display under glass. I'm just

saying...

From Japan Probe, other Taiwan news: The Japanese company Gakken Toys

has issued a recall of its "Talking Globes," when it was discovered

that the globes' talking feature declared Taiwan to be a territory of

the People's Republic of China. Apparently the manufacturer, based in

Shenzhen, refused to make the globes unless the company agreed to

label Taiwan as part of the PRC.

Not that it's ever easy to source products in China, even those

products without geopolitical baggage. Will Foreman of the AP has a

well-written and balanced article on product quality and business

ethics among Chinese manufacturers. Anecdotes about pathologically

dishonest and venal managers and salespeople in China are part and

parcel of business lore here, but Foreman argues that it goes both

ways. Foreign demands on Chinese manufacturers often undermine

attempts to improve product quality and help to encourage an already

flourishing culture of cut-throat capitalism and sketchy business

practices.

Finally, proof that the loopiness of 2008 is international, from

California, fellow China historian and avid horticulturalist Wu Ming

writes a brilliant post: "A letter to the unknown person who stole my

fruit." I feel sorry for Wu Ming's orange crop, but it just goes to


No comments: