selling comedy isnt pretty

Selling Comedy Isn't Pretty

The saying goes that dying is easy, but comedy is hard. But you know

what's even tougher? Selling comedy, that's what.

Over the next few weeks, at least four comedies will be opening from

the major studios: MR. WOODCOCK, GOOD LUCK CHUCK, SYDNEY WHITE, and

THE GAME PLAN. Please allow me to make something clear here: I have

not seen any of these pictures. I will not be criticizing any of the

films themselves because I don't know if they're really good or bad or

not. However, there is another question at hand here - do I want to?

Are these comedies being sold in a manner that makes me say, "Hey, I'd

like to see that". The answer to that is a very simple no. Actually,

it's a big, fat motherfucking no, thank you very much.

Promoting comedies is not a job I would ever envy because it can be so

damn difficult sometimes and if you don't do it right then no one

goes. There are various comedy classics that happen to have classic

trailers, give you enough laughs in a 2-minute trailer to make you

anticipate the movie for months on end. I remember seeing the trailer

to THE NAKED GUN about 2 months prior to the film's theatrical release

and suddenly it became a highly anticipated film for me; it no doubt

helped that the film was hysterically funny throughout and that the

trailer didn't give away all the best gags, but that I'm convinced

that trailer alone is what drove most people into the theaters. The

film was a hit the moment it opened, which was somewhat remarkable

because it was based on a brilliant TV show that no one watched. On

the flip side, I distinctly recall the trailer to FLETCH being one of

the lamest I've ever seen (still), containing not a single laugh or

even indication that the film was in any way funny. Turns out that was

a case where context meant everything, because the line "Can I borrow

your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo" gets a stone-faced

reaction from the trailer, but now it's quoted by obnoxious jerks

everywhere like a Freemasons secret code. So it can go either way.

Of the four comedies I mentioned, I think MR. WOODCOCK might have the

best chance of not sucking, in part because it has a solid, funny

premise (a self-help guru discovers his mother is about to marry the

junior high gym coach who mercilessly terrorized him as a kid) and a

very good cast. There's talk that there were a lot of reshoots with a

different director (David Dobkin) along with a lot of time spent in

the editing room and there's something in the trailer that seems to

indicate to me that this is true. Amy Poehler is in the movie as the

agent to Seann William Scott's character and she seems to spend a lot

of her time insulting people, which Poehler is actually very good at,

so I don't exactly mind. But this kind of stuff, while fine in the

feature itself, doesn't have anything to do with the film's actual

plot, so I'm guessing (and please note that I'm guessing here, as I

have no contact with the MR. WOODCOCK team) that this is in there only

because it gets laughs, that it was probably noted as a favorite of

the test screening audiences and they want folks to have a good

impression of the film. But I'm equally turned off by the poster

(look, Billy Bob Thornton is holding a pair of basketballs right where

his actual balls are - and his name ends with the word "cock"!) and

don't have a good feeling overall. But hey, maybe I'm wrong.

Then there's the unusual case of GOOD LUCK CHUCK. The film's premise

is that Dane Cook's character is a good luck charm to all of the women

he meets; after he romances them and then leaves them, they all go on

to meet their true love. But what were to happen when Cook meets and

falls in love with Jessica Alba? I don't know, but there's an entire

movie devoted to just that very premise and both Cook and Alba happen

to star in it. But if you look at the latest ads and trailer to GOOD

LUCK CHUCK, it gives the indication that the film is actually about a

guy who falls for a sexy woman who just happens to be a total klutz.

Yikes! Yeah, I'm not happy about it, either. Actually, I wasn't happy

about it to begin with, since I can't stand either Cook or Alba, but

let's give the film (which I haven't seen) the benefit of the doubt.

My question here, however is why are they hiding the film's premise?

What's wrong with telling people what the movie's really about? Is it

too syrupy, too much of a chick flick for the Dane Cook "I'd never

fuck a guy, but if I did, I'd fuck Dane Cook" audience? What's wrong

with this idea? I have no idea, but they're hiding something and

though I have no real interest in finding out, audiences will find out

at the end of next week. I suspect they'll be disappointed with what

they find, but hey, I could be wrong.

SYDNEY WHITE, on the other hand, seems to be a little too literal in

what it's all about, making sure we understand its "SNOW WHITE goes to

college" premise. And when you look at the trailer, it pretty much

looks like every other Amanda Bynes movie, a plus or a minus if that's

something that appeals to you, which is to say it looks like an

innocuous and forgettable TV movie. But looking at the poster, you get

the idea that, perhaps, it could be something more. "College is no

fairy tale" says the tagline and I'm looking at this and thinking, is

this Amanda Bynes' first "adult" movie, her introduction to serious

drama? Then you realize that it stars Amanda Bynes and all thoughts of

that fade away. Hey, for some people, an Amanda Bynes movie is a good

thing; I think I may know who some of those people may be, and to them

I say, grow the fuck up, why don't you? Anyway, I have no idea if

SYDNEY WHITE is a good movie or not, as I have not seen it, but I have

Amanda Bynes' cinematic track record to consider (HAIRSPRAY excepted)

and I gotta tell you, prospects don't look too good. But hey, I could

be wrong.

Finally, we have THE GAME PLAN. Listen, I like The Rock. I think we

all like The Rock. Even people who don't know him will like him once

they see him in action. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a major movie

star in the making, a naturally talented and likeable performer who

some day will be as big a movie star there is. But what he's been

missing so far is a major movie to make him this star. Could THE GAME

PLAN be it? Perhaps. While I have not seen the film, I'm looking at

this trailer and thinking to myself, "Saturday and Sunday afternoon

matinees could very easily sell out on this one". Pair The Rock with a

little kid and maybe you've got something there. Could very well be a

recipe for success, although if it's a recipe for quality is another

matter. Honestly, it doesn't look it. You look at the poster and you

see Johnson with a silly look on his face and his bulldog in a tiara

and you already know every direction this movie is going in. How it

will start, how it will end and what's in the middle. Might there be

some laughs? Will Johnson's considerable charm help this movie turn a

corner in my heart? I don't know for sure, but it's entirely possible.

The one thing I know for sure is that there's a bulldog in a tiara on

the film's poster, and no good film has ever featured a bulldog in a