no one dances to comedy

No One Dances To Comedy...

Inspired by PC (that's Perfectly Cromulent, not Politically Correct)

Pete's recent review of The Comedians Of Comedy Tour, I thought I'd

throw in my two cents about standup comics who decide to put on 'rock

n' roll' comedy shows (i.e. shows at music venues where you have to

stand).

Stop it.

Comics love to dress this idea up as something totally positive for

the fans. "No 2 drink minimum!", "18-21 year olds can get in", "It

allows the comedian to create their own set and not worry about time

constraints" etc. What it also does is force me to stand

shoulder-to-shoulder with a bunch of shower-challenged college

freshmen who either can't shut up for five minutes straight to save

their life or spend the entire show reciting 'Mr. Show' dialogue to

their fellow geek friends.

Just be honest. When someone asks you why you're playing that venue

that featured Death Cab for Cutie the night before, tell them you want

a larger cut of the money. Yes, comedy clubs can be a pain in the ass

and are usually run by scumbags who take most of the door, but part of

the comedy 'experience' for me is having a couple of drinks, sitting

the fuck down, and not standing around looking at an empty stage

waiting for the next opening comic thinking how I'd really like a

drink and maybe a place to put my jacket.

More so than any other art form, standup comedy seems to be filled

with people who hate standup comedy. Most of the people who do it are

dying to get a sitcom or do movies or go play Vegas or Branson.

Anything but continue to play comedy clubs. Just look at every person

on 'Last Comic Standing'. I'm sure a lot of it sucks. The long hours,

the travel, the shitty crowds. But if you don't like it, do something

else. Don't try to change the art form to suit you. If you want to be

an actor, act. A writer, write. And if you want to be an indie-rock

star, learn three chords and join Nada Surf.