Labels: Butt Crack, newspaper, post card, rich
36 comments, add yours!:
Heather said...
I swear Joe. You always put a smile on my face! Love it! Best
idea I have heard in a while! LMAO
7/04/2007 04:28:00 PM
Anonymous said...
Before unsubscribing from your blog, I would first like to see
what I will be missing by NOT receiving the cards you are
suggesting.
Please post :)
7/04/2007 04:28:00 PM
Joseph Simmons said...
Thank you, Heather.
As for anonymous, would you prefer matte or glossy?
:-)
7/04/2007 04:33:00 PM
Jill said...
Ok, never mind...I'm still sort of disturbed... :-0 :-0 :-0 :-)
:-) :-) Kidding! (Of course)
7/04/2007 04:33:00 PM
Anonymous said...
Sensible Jones says:-
(In my best English Accent)
That is a cracking idea!!!
7/04/2007 04:38:00 PM
Anonymous said...
Matte or Glossy isn't important...but the topping counts. I had
caramel in mind. I should get a google account.
7/04/2007 04:44:00 PM
Jason Puppykiller said...
I'll give you twenty bucks now, just to never have to see your
ass in the first place:)
7/04/2007 04:56:00 PM
Cherie said...
Joe, some of might WANT to see your ass. What then?
7/04/2007 05:21:00 PM
Anonymous said...
Genius!! Pure genius, I know I would pay it to NOT see your
butt!!=)
7/04/2007 05:27:00 PM
smarty said...
Hahaha that is genius Joe!! They have the same newspaper scam
in my town. Except if the poor pathetic newspaperboy happens to
catch you as you're coming and going from your home, he tries
to hit you up for a "voluntary" subscription fee - GRRRR.
I actually wrote to the newspaper office once saying stop
dropping your garbage on my drively. It didn't help :-(
Now I see that I must PAY them not to deliver it....
7/04/2007 05:32:00 PM
Perspective Girl said...
I totally volunteer to take the pictures!
But, um, aren't you worried it might be a tad illegal?
7/04/2007 05:32:00 PM
smarty said...
*driveway that is.
I just woke up from a nap
7/04/2007 05:34:00 PM
Anonymous said...
I actually subscribed to MySpace Beau's blogs and site because
of his thong *sigh*
Sassy.
7/04/2007 06:31:00 PM
Amanda said...
I would like to have a postcard of your butt-crack just to have
one.
For real. So get on it!!!
Genius!
-aDorkable
7/04/2007 06:44:00 PM
nondramamama..ha! said...
Count me in, I want a postcard too! Does that mean I just
subscribed so I can unsubscribe?
I use those newspapers in my fire pit, girlscout lumberjack
fire freak I am. ( ; Happy 4th!
7/04/2007 07:18:00 PM
wholly random said...
To not see your ass? Let me get my checkbook...
7/04/2007 08:40:00 PM
boogaloo... said...
I do believe I have a picture floating around somewhere of my
butt crack in all its glory, surrounded by none other than 3
other buttcracks in all their glory. Maybe I shall capitalise
in this little money making scheme of yours
Joe....hmmmm.....nice one! Cheers! Kerrie.
7/04/2007 08:47:00 PM
SheRha said...
I've been getting the Tv Guide magazine for 8 years for free.
I never read the damned thing.
Like you, I can't unsubscibe to that which I never subscribed
to in the first place.
I would like one of your postcards, please... LoL
7/04/2007 09:12:00 PM
lisa "waiting on a fairy tale" said...
the best idea---ah yes America the land of true entrepreneurs
7/04/2007 09:26:00 PM
Koi Ai Kitty said...
I will take all the photos for you....it might get more people
to subscribe if you take some nudes...lol.
7/04/2007 11:24:00 PM
jkcookie said...
jesus it took me 4ever to find the post comment link. blogspot?
fucker! :)
-tits mcge
7/05/2007 12:04:00 AM
Thomas said...
Hilarious...unfort I'm poor, so can't afford the 80 bucks...but
hey, I have an idea...I can sell them to an adult store and
make a profit!
7/05/2007 12:10:00 AM
just a handful said...
how about the people that want the postcards? you are now
committed to sending them free cards for life!!
7/05/2007 02:00:00 AM
Juicy Jenn said...
I just gotta say....BRILLIANT! And I'd volunteer for the
assographs, but you live too far away. You may want to rethink
your price. I think it could actually work, really, if it were
cheaper. Say, $15. And just imagine if everyone in your city
sent you $15! Let's be ultra-conservative and say you live in
podunk-land like me, that's $600,000! And I'm sure you live
someplace bigger....so let's go with a town 3 times the size of
my own and only half the people fall for
this....still....$900,000. That's right, you only have to come
up with $100,000 more to be a bona fide millionaire! And how
you ask? INFOMERCIALS! Sell the secret to your wealth for the
low, low price of $79.95! Oh, yes! This is GENIUS! And I expect
a cut from the internet sales.
7/05/2007 02:35:00 AM
Joseph Simmons said...
Hahaha! I can see I'm going to get filthy rich now!!
So:
Smarty: you actually called them? Knowing your lack of success,
I now know my lack of calling was a good thing. :-)
Who the hell is MySpace Beau and his thong?
Kerrie: I demand a copy
Handful: The genius of the plan is that the ones that DON'T pay
me get cut off eventually...but the ones that do will get
barraged with them if they ever stop paying. :-)
Juicy: I have just worked all the franchising and internet
details out. I wonder if I'm being presumptuous by having
already put a deposit down on a private jet...
7/05/2007 12:06:00 PM
JeniLu1123 said...
I think that's the best idea. Or you could always try being out
there at 4AM when they throw it in you driveway, run out and
throw it back. Probably wouldn't solve anything but would be
funny! Except that waking up at 4AM part! Oh well! Send out the
postcards, I'll take the picture!
7/05/2007 09:20:00 PM
Lisa said...
Very amusing... Maybe you can work on the telemarketer calls as
well... I would like to find a way to get all their names and
call them when they are eating or an other incovenient time.
Ive' never left a comment here, but we'll see if it works.
7/06/2007 09:04:00 AM
Darlene said...
So how scared would you be if someone actually started to
collect your cards? You can send different angles so they can
be collected like baseball cards. You can have here's Joe's
butt crack, here is his butt hole, here is the hairiest art of
Joe, etc....... And I will take the pics, I just need 20% of
the profits.
7/06/2007 07:13:00 PM
Anonymous said...
I didnt know you left for work in the AM. I guess you learn
somthing new everyday!
Mackeysmom
7/06/2007 08:35:00 PM
Joseph Simmons said...
I thought about throwing it back at the driver, but by the time
I got to the part of the driveway, yard, or roof where he threw
it, he'd be gone. I think the best deterrent is to egg him as
he goes by.
Darlene, you think people will exchange them as trading cards?
Maybe I can have different angles of my ass taken, so people
can "collect all 5!!"
Mackeysmom: not often.
7/07/2007 04:08:00 AM
Joseph Simmons said...
Lisa, when they call, just tell them you will not even CONSIDER
buying anything until they give you their home address. Give
that address to me and I'll automatically add them to the
Butt-Crack Postcard mailing list.
:-)
7/07/2007 04:10:00 AM
Anonymous said...
Yes I came over here from MS, and I am going to bookmark this
page! You are right, you are hilarious...this is some great
stuff!
How expensive are postcard stamps now days?
7/07/2007 08:04:00 AM
Jean said...
You'll be posting a sample card - right? I'm guessing your
butt-crack is so darn cute you won't get a single subscriber to
un-subscribe. They'll wallpaper their homes with your crack!
The great wall of crack courtesy of Joe will begin a new era.
7/07/2007 01:51:00 PM
Angie said...
"full moon enterprises" brilliant.
Camera - Check. 'course I might make your ass look too good.
They'll be looking forward to their postcards.
7/08/2007 12:31:00 PM
Anonymous said...
Perhaps the 'Busted-Butt-Crack' postcard would bring in more
cancellations.
7/09/2007 11:41:00 AM
JazzyJenny said...
Hi, Joe, I'd like to be sent that post card and won't
unsubscribe! You are hilarious, As Always. Thanks for being
you!! There should be more funny peeps in the world like you!!
You're a breath of fresh air! I could praise you ALL DAY long
7/16/2007 08:38:00 PM
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